Do you want to have my baby?

I’ve often been asked by friends, family and sometimes strangers why I do not have children. Whether or not I want them and what might be the matter with me since I haven’t settled down already. Clearly, there must be something wrong with me because I do not have that house, those 2.1 children, the man and the little white fence. I’ve rarely had an answer to that question. What do you really answer when someone, often someone you barely know asks:” why don’t you have any children?”

They phrase it like it is the most normal question in the world, and somehow they all feel entitled to ask me this very question. I’ve often thought of what I should answer. Why don’t I have any children? Because I wasn’t ready, I haven’t found the right guy, I can’t have children, I had different dreams to for fill, I am happy the way I am… The answers are many, sometimes I even want to throw the question back into their faces. Like: Why do you have children? Why did you always dream of settling into this life of mundane conformity? Did you never dream of accomplishing anything more than bearing children?

Did that sound harsh? Well, try being asked by almost every person you meet what is wrong with you for not reproducing before I met them.

So do I want offspring? Well traveling around all of 2017 I surely did get asked a lot. And around 25% of the time I got asked by a man who in the next sentence said: I think we could have beautiful babies. (or something paraphrased in that order). In the beginning, I got a bit offended. I have known me for a couple of minutes, you are my waiter, our guesthouse-owner, a random guy who took us tubing in a river, the towel guy in the hotel, my tour guide … etc. OF COURSE, I DON’T WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY. After a while, I started looking at it differently, like a buyer looks at a racehorse. I was wondering whether he had good teeth, whether his facial features were symmetrical. Was his body well proportioned? You know, good genes. Was he smart or intelligent? Did he have any mental illnesses running in the family?

Many of these men, who so willingly and kindly offered their services, were married, but somehow according to their belief (values, moral, and ethics) making a baby with me was fully justified. I was somehow never really tempted by these so generous offers. And as hard as it was saying no I somehow failed to grasp what I was gaining out of the deal, and to a huge extend what they gained. I was a traveler, I wasn’t going to stay around and raise a baby with them, married or not. Why would they want to father a baby an entire world away?

Prices stallion or not, why was I being asked this over and over again?

I’ve asked a lot of female travelers I met throughout 2017 and most of them recognize my stories. None of them had a clean cut answer. We discussed Darwinism and survival of the fittest, sexual selection, sex with solo female travelers etc. but we became none the smarter. I am not delusional and I can vouch for the fact that I am not that attractive. At least not attractive enough to make an evolutional difference in the greater scheme of Darwinism.

So boys why do you want to have a baby with me? 

* All photos are of course private and taken by me.